You’re at an event where is there is networking. Someone comes right up to and asks you lots of questions. It seems like they really care about what you do, who you serve and the problems you solve. But then it gets creepy.
The questioning intensifies. It seems like they have a sense of urgency for solving whatever problem you have. It seems like they want to deliver a solution but you’re feeling like saying
“whoa! too soon….gimme a minute”.
You wonder “hmmm…is this is about me or about them feeling good because they helped?”
Your intuition could be right on the money.
I can say I’ve been the subject of this character many times. I’m sure this individual means well. They want to help. But just because they can help doesn’t mean we want them to help…at least not so fast.
Now, imagine if you’re on the other side…
Remember that networking event you went to where you had an awkward encounter?
That encounter with a person you met and it just didn’t feel right? It almost felt like they were pulling away?
Remember how it felt? When you never could find the words or get in the groove with the conversation?
In other words…. There was no “click”.
Consider for a moment….
There are people you are simply not meant to connect with.
Yes I said it!
Some of us put so much effort into being likeable that we may want something to happen that isn’t there. Some of us put so much effort into being of service that it becomes a turn-off.
You can’t “make it happen” when it comes to creating a true connection with the person you’re meant to serve.
Put Your Best Face Forward
All you can do is make the connection. Be authentic, honest and helpful. Ask questions. Listen. Be empathetic. Do whatever fits for your style…
WITHOUT attachment to some result that you need to get.
The Lesson: Sometimes You’re Not The One For Them
This isn’t necessarily a reflection of your ability to solve their problem or otherwise help them.
Sometimes getting better results from your networking (more fun, connections, etc) comes down to NOT connecting or at least letting an encounter go.
As always remember… It’s not as much what you say and do as much as HOW you make them feel.
Thoughts? Share a comment. I’d love to hear YOUR experience.
P.S. Stay in touch…but opting in on the right.