How do you connect with someone online that isn’t responding?

In a conversation with a friend today, he shared that he was having a little challenge getting an answer from someone he was looking to connect with.

The Situation

They have done business before so they know each other as peers but haven’t connected recently. He’s been pinging them for some time. Meaning, he used to connect with them online and has been shooting over an instant message periodically. He is a good guy with a good heart so this isn’t one of those situations where it’s all about him. I know for a fact his intention is to reconnect with a peer and possibly contribute to them if it’s a fit.

It’s NOT About You

When someone doesn’t respond to something we do, why is it we most often think it’s about us?  Ummmm ego!

Let’s address the elephant in the room because it would be nutty not to at least entertain a couple of possibilities. You see someone connecting with you is all about them. Yes, really.  It’s about THEIR timeline. THEIR priority.

It doesn’t matter what our sense of urgency is because it’s up to them and what they feel is in it for THEM and when!

Therefore, can we have an adult conversation and entertain the possibility that….

They Just Aren’t Into You

  • It is entirely possible that the other person doesn’t like them for whatever reason.
  • They just aren’t a priority in their life today.

I know. I know. What a let-down to the ego, BUT ignoring that is about as good as an ostrich sticking it’s head in the sand.  Not much good!

Just because we entertain the possibility that one of the above situations is true, it doesn’t mean you have to let go.

How To Get Attention From Someone Online

I wonder if a slight strategy change might yield different results for me friend.

Aside from them possibly not being a fit….and really don’t people come into and out of our lives all the time for this and that reason?

In lieu of knowing for sure and assuming you feel it’s worth the effort, then instead of pinging

“hey let’s catch up” or “what’s new? Let’s chat”,

experiment with “Hi xxxx, I was just thinking of you. I remember when we…. (or) you said….. Anyway it made me smile.” or

” Hey xxxx, I was just reading this magazine and it talked about…. and I thought of you. Have a fab day”.

Do you get the picture?

No calls to action, just a friendly sincere thought. As with any “pings”, keep it real and authentic. You already know I avoid pretty much anything that is all about strategy alone…gotta keep it real!  People KNOW when you’re being real and when you’re just trying to get something.

Others FIRST!

This is the one of the key principles you’ll cover on Day 13 of the Becoming A Masterful Networker.  If I can help you practice that, it’s my pleasure.

What are your thoughts on this idea?  Hate it? Love it? Done it?  Leave a comment.