What Have You Done For Me Lately?

…that’s what your audience is asking!

They may not be saying it out loud but that’s a thought down deep.

Psssst. It’s not always about business, your product, service or you!!! It’s too early.

They are ALWAYS thinking at least subconsciously “What’s In It For Me?”

If you can answer that question, you’re cultivating more trust from your audience, whether live or online.  Don’t make them think. Just address it.

Watch this now and find out how you earn the right.

Then share your thoughts on learning to connect and become a masterful networker.

How Can I Make Your Day?

How can I make your day?

How can I help you be a hero to your clients?

LESSON:  Ask smart questions about how you can make the OTHER person’s day FIRST before you asking for what you want!

I was listening to Gail Kingsbury share “How To Get Booked On Stage” today.  She shared something that is just as important getting booked on stage as making a great connection.

Really getting booked on a stage, acquiring a client or closing a deal starts with the relationship first.

Make THEIR day first!

Let’s be clear here, it IS about them first!

Do you REALLY REALLY REALLY want to know how I not only get noticed but REMEMBERED and I mean remembered as likeable?

Well it’s really about is being of service.

Yes, it’s true I definitely have some work to do in others of my life, but being known as a “taker” is not one of them.

I LOVE contributing to the lives of people that are open to receiving.

Too Much Too Soon

If you have that first part down, then I’ll remind you of a place where some people fall down.

Let’s say a person genuinely wants to do something for you and you graciously decline. Hey, it’s ok. They are well-intentioned. It just wasn’t a fit for you.  Then they get pushy about it or needy about it and you start feeling the “energy” change and it’s creepy.  You then realize that it’s about them versus you.

Now you know how that feels, so why would you ever be “that guy” when you’re the other person?  Yuck!

The Point?

Do your very best to share, give, help another person because you really want to. That part is about you being of service because you want to.  Then, remember the act it self is about THEM.

Don’t even bother if it’s all about what you’re going to get from it.

It’s my intention to do my very best to share HOW I do what I do and sometimes it doesn’t quite fit coming out in writing.  That’s the reason I created Becoming A Masterful Networker for a ridiculously small investment of your resources.  So you HEAR how to do it and then go act practice it yourself, then repeat.

Let me know your thoughts on this tip.  Of course if I don’t hear from you, how can I best help you? 🙂

Oh and if learning to connect would be helpful to your group, give a shout, we can create some a-ma-zing results live and in person!

If You’re Not Having Fun, You’re Doing It Wrong

Makes sense right?

But again and again, we do stuff that’s

  1. Not Fun
  2. Has No Joy
  3. Hate It
  4. With people we don’t like

It’s it’s not fun, I’m not doing it.

Yes, I’m brat about that.  Well honestly, I do things sometimes that I dislike but I’m aware of it and make a conscious decision to do them. Big difference.

What about the person that does things and feel they HAVE to do them.

Whether it’s the home-based business person cold calling leads or the real estate agent going to that local leads club.

Think about it…

  • Why would ANYONE do something they HATE?
  • Why would ANYONE work with someone they DISLIKE?

Quite simply because they don’t know better or They have lost their mind…temporarily.

Admittedly, I resemble that remark.

It’s an interesting thing with humans.  As children, we KNOW what is FUN and what isn’t.  We’re trained to have discipline to do things we may not enjoy but get results.  At what long term cost?

A life-long obsession doing hard things or things we don’t like to get something we DO like.  MADNESS!!!


Specifically around learning to connect better and networking effectively…

To become a masterful networker, you MUST bring fun and joy into what you’re doing, else you’ll be miserable.

If that means NOT going to an event, then so be it.

If that means not associating with someone, so be it.

The Masterful Networker does NOT compromise just to get another lead, client or gig.

They may win in the short-term, but at a steep long term cost.

CHOOSE to Become A Masterful Networker

  1. Find joy in what you’re doing or let it go
  2. Find fun people to do it with.

You DO have a choice.

If you feel like you don’t, then contact me. Let’s have a chat because I guarantee you there is a better way.  The only thing I’m going to “sell” you on is YOU!  YOU are the only one that matters and I’m obsessed about your success.

I’ve done a lot of stupid things in my life. I’ve learned a LOT about what works and what doesn’t. So you might as well benefit from it while I’m sharing.

What are your thoughts? I want to know!

Sometimes You’re Not The One For Them

You’re at an event where is there is networking. Someone comes right up to and asks you lots of questions. It seems like they really care about what you do, who you serve and the problems you solve.  But then it gets creepy.

The questioning intensifies.  It seems like they have a sense of urgency for solving whatever problem you have. It seems like they want to deliver a solution but you’re feeling like saying

“whoa! too soon….gimme a minute”.

You wonder “hmmm…is this is about me or about them feeling good because they helped?”

Your intuition could be right on the money.

I can say I’ve been the subject of this character many times.  I’m sure this individual means well.  They want to help. But just because they can help doesn’t mean we want them to help…at least not so fast.

Now, imagine if you’re on the other side…

The Situation

Remember that networking event you went to where you had an awkward encounter?

That encounter with a person you met and it just didn’t feel right?  It almost felt like they were pulling away?

Remember how it felt? When you never could find the words or get in the groove with the conversation?

In other words…. There was no “click”.

Consider for a moment….

There are people you are simply not meant to connect with.

Yes I said it!

Some of us put so much effort into being likeable that we may want something to happen that isn’t there.  Some of us put so much effort into being of service that it becomes a turn-off.

You can’t “make it happen” when it comes to creating a true connection with the person you’re meant to serve.

Put Your Best Face Forward

All you can do is make the connection. Be authentic, honest and helpful.  Ask questions.  Listen. Be empathetic. Do whatever fits for your style…

WITHOUT attachment to some result that you need to get.

The Lesson:  Sometimes You’re Not The One For Them

This isn’t necessarily a reflection of your ability to solve their problem or otherwise help them.

Sometimes getting better results from your networking (more fun, connections, etc) comes down to NOT connecting or at least letting an encounter go.

As always remember… It’s not as much what you say and do as much as HOW you make them feel.

Thoughts? Share a comment. I’d love to hear YOUR experience.

P.S. Stay in touch…but opting in on the right.

Everywhere I Look I See Beautiful People

Regardless of your musical tastes, there is a profoundly simple lesson about networking to be taken away from this song.

Being completely honest with yourself…..

If you keep running into people you’d rather not network with or connect with, have you considered maybe you’re focusing your attention on the very people you’re attracting?

My experience is when I enter a networking situation and have an intention to meet a couple of amazing people, I usually do.

On the other hand, when I have a bad attitude and think “ugggg another glad handing session”, that’s usually what I get.

I’ll admit, I’m not a fan of networking for networking’s sake versus open to connecting with amazing people wherever I go.

If that sounds more attractive to you, let’s chat.

Have a listen to the video and enjoy the message and if you enjoy the beat? Well that’s a bonus!

What Would You Prefer?

You know what you DON’T like.  Now, if you could blink your eyes and get your ideal experience what would that look, feel and sound like?

Let me know your dream networking/connecting experience with a comment on the Facebook page.

What’s My Agenda?

Doing whatever I can to help you get exactly what you’re looking for. Yea, I’m crazy like that. Just ask my friends…I’m a compulsive connector. There are certainly worst conditions to have! 🙂


Avoid Live Networking Events

Yes! It would be silly not to consider that as an option if you hate attending live networking events.  The best solution is often the most simple solution.

You have 3 choices when considering whether to attend live events.

  1. Don’t go to a networking event.
  2. Go to the networking event you hate or
  3. Attend and participate in a networking event where you find enjoyment.

The point here it’s a choice.

I’ve met far too many people that complain about networking events and believe they HAVE to go.  That madness stops now.  It’s one of the very first things we address in the core mastery course: Becoming A Masterful Networker.

If you’re set on attending live events…

One thing to consider right now is avoid generic networking events.

Listen to the lesson that Dave Clarke, CTO (Chief Technology Officer) of the American Red Cross reveals.

Dave is the president of the Washington Area CTO Roundtable, Inc., a group that meets bi-monthly to discuss technology topics. “This forum is effective for networking because it is not a networking forum,” says Clarke. “Its purpose is technology education, but because the members have common interests, we wind up developing a good network.”

His advice to Chief Information Officers (or ANY group of people with something in common) in search of something similar?

“Look for events that have specific topics of interest as opposed to general networking,” he says. “Once you’ve joined, listen to those members whose opinions you find most interesting. Decide to make contact with only a few, exchange business cards and follow up on that specific topic.” Members of the Roundtable call each other to compare notes on technology topics that are relevant to their businesses, not just to have lunch.

Another tip from Dave: “CIOs might want to take a look at LinkedIN, an online networking tool,” he says. “It is fun to use and because it is a technology tool, technology executives might be more inclined to use it.”

Did you get the lesson from this example?

a) Attending networking events IS a choice.

b) If you DO go, then go to one SPECIFIC to something you enjoy.

What are your thoughts on this?

P.S.  To leverage the time you invest at live networking events, check out Day 2 of Becoming A Masterful Networker

Get Attention Online

How do you connect with someone online that isn’t responding?

In a conversation with a friend today, he shared that he was having a little challenge getting an answer from someone he was looking to connect with.

The Situation

They have done business before so they know each other as peers but haven’t connected recently. He’s been pinging them for some time. Meaning, he used to connect with them online and has been shooting over an instant message periodically. He is a good guy with a good heart so this isn’t one of those situations where it’s all about him. I know for a fact his intention is to reconnect with a peer and possibly contribute to them if it’s a fit.

It’s NOT About You

When someone doesn’t respond to something we do, why is it we most often think it’s about us?  Ummmm ego!

Let’s address the elephant in the room because it would be nutty not to at least entertain a couple of possibilities. You see someone connecting with you is all about them. Yes, really.  It’s about THEIR timeline. THEIR priority.

It doesn’t matter what our sense of urgency is because it’s up to them and what they feel is in it for THEM and when!

Therefore, can we have an adult conversation and entertain the possibility that….

They Just Aren’t Into You

  • It is entirely possible that the other person doesn’t like them for whatever reason.
  • They just aren’t a priority in their life today.

I know. I know. What a let-down to the ego, BUT ignoring that is about as good as an ostrich sticking it’s head in the sand.  Not much good!

Just because we entertain the possibility that one of the above situations is true, it doesn’t mean you have to let go.

How To Get Attention From Someone Online

I wonder if a slight strategy change might yield different results for me friend.

Aside from them possibly not being a fit….and really don’t people come into and out of our lives all the time for this and that reason?

In lieu of knowing for sure and assuming you feel it’s worth the effort, then instead of pinging

“hey let’s catch up” or “what’s new? Let’s chat”,

experiment with “Hi xxxx, I was just thinking of you. I remember when we…. (or) you said….. Anyway it made me smile.” or

” Hey xxxx, I was just reading this magazine and it talked about…. and I thought of you. Have a fab day”.

Do you get the picture?

No calls to action, just a friendly sincere thought. As with any “pings”, keep it real and authentic. You already know I avoid pretty much anything that is all about strategy alone…gotta keep it real!  People KNOW when you’re being real and when you’re just trying to get something.

Others FIRST!

This is the one of the key principles you’ll cover on Day 13 of the Becoming A Masterful Networker.  If I can help you practice that, it’s my pleasure.

What are your thoughts on this idea?  Hate it? Love it? Done it?  Leave a comment.


Connect With A Successful Person

Most people lock up when starting a conversation with someone they look up to or someone they consider successful, influential or a celebrity. Of course, it’s all relative to your definition and that’s what’s most important here.

Working in the seminar industry for years, I met several people that can easily be defined as celebrities. I promise you, they are as human as you and me regardless of the status we place on them.

Likewise, many friends have asked me “How do I talk to a celebrity?” or something like “How do you approach someone you admire?

If you’ve wondered about this, you’re not alone. Watch this video and learn my take on it and let me know what you think.

I want to be clear about one thing….

Connecting to a successful person and networking with successful people is part of
learning to become a masterful networker. It has NOTHING to do with being fake, inauthentic or just plain douchey. You CAN connect without compromising who you are.

Yo Playah! Keeping It Real Online or Offline

Whether you’re looking to connect online or offline, “keeping it real” will always payoff IF you’re looking to truly connect with those you’re meant to serve.

Now, you’d think this would go without saying, but as Ryan Lee shares in a story, it doesn’t.

Have a browse because he kept short, sweet and to the point.

Keeping It Real: Your True Blueprint to Online Domination

One thing I’ve always appreciated from Ryan Lee is he is just being himself.  Like him or not, he doesn’t try to please everyone.

LESSON:  Let go of being someone you think you need to be.  You have an audience; a tribe and they are looking for you.  Keep it real.

What are you thoughts on this?  Share your comment.